Grand Chase on Facebook
by BreadCrumble
Summary: What would happen if the Grand Chase had Facebook accounts? Let's find out! Partly based on the conversations in the game. Rated T for a bit of cursing. Chapter 3 is now up!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Grand Chase Characters or Facebook itself 'kay? Spongebob citations are also not mine. :l

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 - <span>Meeting the<span> Chase**

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ has logged in.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Signing up for the Grand Chase…Damn.

**Knight Master** **dahawtNPC**

Your first task to prove yourself worthy of being in the Chase is to decipher this super secret military code. Just to prove that you are human. PM me if you are done.

Captcha: Υυ r A mσπΩη

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

WAT DA ****?

_(Two hours later)_

**Knight Master** **dahawtNPC**

Good. Now go and kill this fry cook who lives in a pinapple- wait no.

...err...

In Trial Tower. GO NAO!

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ is now friends with _Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom_ and _Arme FireBoltSpammer_.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Y u range characters?

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

We are too awesome to be just plain melee freaks.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Wat did you say B****?

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Just shut up so that we can kill this Wendy already.

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

Wendy's Hamburgers?

**Arme FireBoltSpammer & Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Facepalm.

_(Sometime later…)_

**Elesis KickbuttKnight & Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

Are currently climbing a tower of doom.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Ack! More goblins! HELP ME CLIMB!

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

No way. (virtual stick-out tongue) That's why melee's are waaaaaaaaaay better.

_Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom_ poked _Elesis KickbuttKnight._

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

CURSE YOU ELE-

(Has been pawn'd by the goblins)

_Elesis KickbuttKnight _likes this.

_Arme FireBoltSpammer is now offline._

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Yay~ Nao let's go kill Wendy!

_Wendy Ihasburgers_ has logged in.

**Wendy Ihasburgers**

Crazy humans disturb me from making my chazburgers.

Elesis KickbuttKnight has added _Killing burger makers _to her interests.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Mega SLASH!

**Wendy Ihasburgers**

Bad Breath attack!

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

Big sh!t!

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Wat?

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

I said 'Big shot'. FML! Stupid Autocorrect!

**Wendy Ihasburgers**

Is now slipping on mustard and is falling off the tower.

NUUUUU!1!1!

_Elesis KickbuttKnight _and_ Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom _likes this.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

That was fast. Lame.

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

Let's go back and report to Knight Master.

(Later)

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Here's a screenie of what happen'd, Knight Master. R we in the Grand Chase nao?

**Knight Master** **dahawtNPC**

Fine, you guys are in.

_Elesis KickbuttKnight and_ _2 others_ joined GRAND CHASE THE AWESOME KNIGHTS Platoon# 1629!

**Knight Master** **dahawtNPC**

Nao go scram to the Great Wall of China. Imma too busy to handle little weak n0*bs.

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer _likes this.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

SAY THAT AGAIN TO MY FACE!

TELL

ME

OR

ELSE.

FINE

YOU CAN

JUST

GO-

F

**Knight Master** **dahawtNPC has blocked all incoming messages coming from GRAND CHASE TEH AWESOME KNIGHTS Platoon# 1629!**

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

FFFUUU!

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Come on, guys, let's just go and do what the Knight Master said.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Wow, you're still alive, midget?

No way am I followin' your orders.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

There's free meat in the Wall.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

YOU GUYS ARE SO SLOW! C'MON LET'S GO ALREADY!

_Arme FireBoltSpammer _is now a fan of fooling stupid swordsmen._**  
><strong>_

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

What a simpleton…

**Elesis KickbuttKnight** and **2 others **

Are currently in the Great Wall of Tsheeena.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Mega-Ultra-Great-Endurin'-Sinewy-what-the-hell-am-I-sayin'-Sword Fire!

**Orc Warrior daWallofFat**

1-hit K.O.? Cheat! Bug!

(Disconnected from the server)

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Woah, you tikes sure are strong^^.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

EEEEEKKK! Pedo!

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Wth?

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer_ has enlisted _Elesis KickbuttKnight_ as his Great-great- great- great- great- great (xπ) granddaughter.

_Elscud MissingDude _likes this.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Who are you to start adding me as your great-great-great (times kajillion times) granddaughter? GTH!

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Well, I used to be a great legendary warrior but-

_Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom_poked _Sieghart PartTimeOldTime _with an arrow.

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ and _10 others_ like this.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Lols! Took an arrow to the knee, old man!

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

You just violated rule # 126629, wherein people 70 and up are prohibited to have FB accounts because of unspiffy-ness, the threat of pedoism and the risk of getting sued for making the old geezer get Arthritis.

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Uhh…Since u tikes are with the Grand Chase lemme join, pleeeeease! Gotta watch ovah little Red (Riding Hood), since Elscud never thought her any good. =((

**Elscud MissingDude **

DISLIKE! I am disappoint (meme )!

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Do it nao, Red. Or I'll use this embarrassing snapshot of you in that Square Dancing Competition^^.

_Arme FireBoltSpammer_ likes this.

I'll upload it in a whiiiiiile~

Uploading: 99.999999%

:)))

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

UGH! Fine! You win! :(

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Yeaay~ Now be nice to the other tikes~! We'll all have a great time, girls! :3

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

O_O

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

O_o

**Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom**

(o=o)

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

(o3o)

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ in now offline.

_Arme FireBoltSpammer_ has placed a _fire (bolt) wall_ against pedos.

_Lire Werdoesurarrowscomefrom_ has deleted her account out of excessive discomfort. (no, not from a period). :l

* * *

><p><strong>Jinno: First GC fanfiction! Please review!<strong>

**Lire: Why is my name sooo long? :l**

**Sieg: Why hello, little girls~ 3**

**Jinno: Uhh... (Where the hell is Mari...)**

**Elesis: Just rate and review...Free meat for reviews~  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Jinno: **Hi everyone! Sorry for not updating for about a month...(Please don't kill me.) You can blame my terror teacher in History class. xD

**Elesis:** Don't you mean 3 months?

**Jinno: ***gulp*

**Lire: **Can I do the disclaimer?

**Jinno:** Sure Lire. But can you please tell Ryan that he won't be in this chapter. :o He's been bugging me for the past month.

**Ryan:** OH WHY.

**Sieghart:** Just get on with the story, you're already consuming 100 words with this convo.

**Lire: **Jinno doesn't own us or any part of the Grand Chase. She also doesn't own Facebook and never want to own it. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – <span>Facebook Timeline<span>**

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

There's no way you're my Gran'father! You're just some hot, dashing, err…handsome phony who doesn't look a single friggin' thung liek Elscud-who is obviously not handsome. I'll gonna kill ya for tryin' to-

**Facebook Admins**

Please brush up on your spelling, grammar, punctuation and less on the 'cowboy' language.

**Elscud MissingDude**

Impossibru! This is not how I raised my girl. I spent all my time on you and taught you all the skills I know!

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

What skills? :)

_Arme FireBoltSpammer_ likes this.

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer _has added _Annoying red-headed people _to his hobbies.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

…Da-

**Facebook Admins**

That goes for swearing too.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight **

Is flipping a table over right now.

_~Later~_

_Lire __Werdoesurarrowscomefrom _has changed their name to _Lire Ihasflexibleback._

_Lire Ihasflexibleback_ became a fan of _Bending 90 degrees _and _Yoga for Elves_.

**Lire Ihasflexibleback**

Elesis, if you really want to prove whether he's the real thing or not, check his FB timeline.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Uhh, Lire I don't think timelines are reliable.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

I'm such a bawsss cos I didn't change into that girly timeline. :)

**Ryan NatureFreak**

One does not simply change their Facebook into timelines.

**GRAND CHASE THE AWESOME KNIGHTS Platoon# 1629!**

Who the ef are you?

**Ryan NatureFreak**

Nothing to do here!

_Ryan NatureFreak is now offline._

**Elesis KickbuttKnight **

Foine, I'll check his timeline. -_-lll

*scrolling*

_~Two Hours Later~_

**Elesis KickbuttKnight **

Found it at laaast! 600 years ago...Geez never knew timelines existed that long ago.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

How lame. Your Grandpa uses FB even longer than you.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight **

:( One of these days Arme…

* * *

><p><span>::600 years ago (Sieg's FB)::<span>

_Goblin#69 and 99 others _haveadded_ Being pwn'd by Sieghart _to their interests.

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Nao DIE!

**Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh**

No wait! I'm going to have kids in the future!

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Wat? O_O

**Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh**

Gotcha!

_Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh _has added _Fooling Old Demons _to his hobbies.

_Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh _poked _Dio Burning Canyon_ with a gladius.

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Is sucking stuff.

**Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh**

That's just…so wrong, man.

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

SHUT UP!

BLACK SPACE + BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!

**Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh**

Aaaaaaaaa.

=Too much gore and stuff not to be seen by people ages 18 and below=

_SieghartxDio Fanclub_likes this.

**Jin IcopiedElesis'hair**

Aww. But I'm 17! :(

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Hu u? :l

_Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh is now offline._

**The High Lander Teh Higher HighLander**

Hoho and check out this picture of Whitening Houston, hehe.

_The Hye Peeps and 12001 others_ like this photo

Oh wat's this?

**Teh Higher HighLander**

Ohoho I see screenie of hawt dying guy.

_Dio BurningYourCanyon _likes this item_._

**The High Lander**

*Hick* *Hurr* Okay! For no reason, let's revive him~

_The High Lander _has added _Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh _to the _Hye Group_.

_Teh Higher HighLander _sent _RESURRECTION! _to _Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh._

**Teh Higher HighLander**

Oh, crap. I used the resu-in-three-days stone. :(

**The High Lander**

EL STUPIDO!11

_The High Lander _sent _a barrage of eggs _to_ Teh Higher HighLander._

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

And thus, the first Easter of the GC World…

**The High Lander**

… I thought demons don't believe in Siegtianity.

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Oh Christ. *facepalm*

_Dio BurningYourCanyon_ has blocked all dimensional and magical crap from _Hye Group._

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

*scrolling up*

This timeline is full of BS. :(

_~Three Days Later~_

_Sieghart Hazdynamitebodeh_ has changed their name to _Sieghart DatHawtImmortal_

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

F- Yeah! I'm aliiive. *Insert Alleluia music*

**Teh Higher HighLander**

N wi weil teach u al op our HighLandy Techniques~ U betur expect lotsa training and sweating and running n-

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

You people high? :0

**The High Lander**

Firs grammar lesun, it's "Hi, u peple!"

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Uh. :l

**The High Lander**

Oki enof chit-chat, we make trainin nao.

*still scrolling*

* * *

><p><strong>Elesis KickbuttKnight<strong>

Still not convinced.

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Aww. C'mon, Red. :) Check this [link].

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

This better not be a virus. *click*

**Facebook Admins**

Welcome to Facebook Timeline! We have automatically renewed your profile to our infamous Timeline! Since you have **voluntarily **switched to Timeline, all of your pending friend requests and family requests are accepted!

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer_ likes this.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

SIEGHART YOU BI764!

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer_ is now (and forever, Amen) your Granddadsy.

**Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer**

Aww, cheer up, Red. :) At the very least, we have each other :))

_Lire Ihasflexibleback and_ _534568596 peopl_e like this.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Awh, how sweet. NOT. :

Look who's a daddy's girl :D

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ poked _Arme FireBoltSpammer._

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

534568597 likes in five seconds…_

DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE A LIFE?

_795865435 people_ like this.

* * *

><p><strong>Jinno:<strong> How was that? Sorry if it's kinda short and a bit off the storyline. :)

**Elesis:** Hah. You just wanted to rant about Timelines right?

**Jinno:** Hush hush. :

**Sieghart:** But the ending was nice...right, Elesis? I'm sure we'll all have a great time together. :D

**Jinno:** Uhh, Dio, please do something about this...

**Dio:** Why me..._

**Lire:** Oh well. Please R&R~ :)


	3. Chapter 3

Jinno: School's being a drag to me...*sigh*

Lire: Aww. Cheer up, Jinno.

Ryan: NO.

Elesis: He's still freaking out about how much paper is used in school.

Sieghart: Hahaha, I remember my first impression on Dio at school - hot-.

_SieghartxDio Fanclub_ and 5136_ people_ like this item.

Dio: HE MEANT HOT-HEADED. Hmp, idiotic mortals.

Jinno: Hey wait! We aren't at the story part yet. And Dio, stop spoiling the storyline D: . And Sieghart, if you don't want your FB account to be hacked, please use a different password besides "I_likesleepingwith_babes_and_younggirls"…

Arme: O_O…

Teh Higher HighLander: Lit uz ztart the storeh.

Ryan: ^Not sure if in a rush, or just high.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Job Change?<br>**

_Sieghart PartTimeOldTimer_ has changed his name to_ Sieghart DatHawtImmortal_

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

You're not even hawt.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Yeah, but I'm sure Knight Master must've written this mission at 7 AM…

Wakin' up in the morning

Gotta be fresh gotta go

_Friday RebeccaBlack_ likes this item.

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ sent a SUPER-GLUED BOMB to_ Arme FireBoltSpammer_.

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Here's the mission, and stop hitting on me with bombs already. D:

Screenie:

* * *

><p><em>Supermegafoxyawesome Mission<em> made by the _Supermegafoxyawesome K. M._

Addressed to: All citizens of the country

Place: Carry Beets

Difficulty: As hard as your...pet rock.

Task: Herpy Hunting

Details: Kill OVER 9000 Herpies by sunset because Herpies tend to be more aggressive at night. If you know what I mean. *smirk*

* * *

><p><strong>Lire Ihasflexibleback<strong>

Woah, woah, woah…Arme there are kids in the audience!

And please revise your former statement...I'm sure Miss Elesis would be enraged if she saw it...*ear twitch*

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Oh my...I DID NOT SEE THAT.

_Arme FireBoltSpammer _has unliked _Grammar Lessons for the Pedias and Pedos. _

AND LIRE STOP BREAKING THE 4th WALL.

I'm sure Knight Master is supposed to spell country with an 'o' bu-

_Arme FireBoltSpammer _has added_ Spelling Nazi _as her occupation.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Nah, Arme you just copied it wrong, you green minded, purple haired, amethysts eyed girl who has a reeeeeeally big crush on a white haired guy. :D

**Arme FireBoltSpammer - Lass MyPastIsNotFun**

Oh snap, they found out already.

**Lire Ihasflexibleback**

Better do what KM says…

~Time flies~

**Herpderp Queen**

And nao! Die as send to you 100% virgin cotton feathers to your bodehs!

~Dun. Dun, Dun, Dun. Dun, Dun, Dun. Dun, Dun, DUUUUN~ *insert Eye of the Tigah here*

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

What the heck is that music?! And why the hell-

Pick a command:

=Fight

=Kill

=Farm Carrots

=Weed weeds

=Throw Cows to an inexplicably far far away place where no one could see them do inexplicably demented stuff.

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Red, have you been playing FarmVille, lately…?

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

I swear to Samsara, I HAVE NOT BEEN

*PING* Notification: _Ronan ChicksDon'tKnowMyKanavan_ has sent you a game request to _Dragon City and Social Empires_.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Um…I can explai-

_Sieghart DatHawtImmortal_ poked _Elesis KickbuttKnight_ with a gladius.

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

HOW COULD YOU?! Elesis, no, MY ELESIS. MY LITTLE, RED-HEADED GREAT GREAT GREAT-

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Please, Sieghart. Please don't make a scene here!

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

I...I thought you all of my skills, all my hard work...

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

No no, Master Sieghart! I swear to Samsara, I didn't...

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Then why...why...Elesis...why...

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

What. WHAT? Spit it out, old man! You need water? Dentures? Your mom? C'mon, please don't make a scene! Tell me!

**Herpy#69**

What the fudgecakes is going on here, mate?

**Herpy#42**

No idea, mate.

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Why...won't you...

ACCEPT MY REQUESTS IN TETRIS BATTLES?!

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

What.

_Sieghart DatHawtImmortal_ has added _Anti-climatic arguments_ to his interests.

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Sieghart, you have over 9000 friends in your profile...

_Elesis KickbuttKnight_ poked _Sieghart DatHawtImmortal _with her own sword.

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Pff, yeah right, over 9000 DEAD friends, you mean.

**Mari MachinesAreMyInterest**

Hello? I'm still here.

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Hush, Mari, you're still not supposed to be here 8D

**Mari MachinesAreMyInterest**

? Hu u?

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

Oh snap, you forgot everything.

((then that means...))

HEY MARI, GRAB ONTO MY [[redacted]]!

**Mari MachinesAreMyInterest**

Uhh...*grab*

**Sieghart DatHawtImmortal**

A random rainbow starts spewing out of your rear. How nice.

_Sieghart DatHawtImmortal_ sent _Mari MachinesAreMyInterest _to Neverland. (AKA, THAT INEXPLICABLY FAR FAR AWAY PLACE WHERE FAIRIES AND ELVES DEFY GRAVITY.)

**Ley MakesCrimsonRivers**

Defying gravity you say? NOOOOOOOOOO D:

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

Who the hell are you women?! ARE YOU SIEGHART'S CHICK CLUB OR SOMETHING?! *cracks knuckles*

He's such a shame to the Sieghart name.

**Ley MakesCrimsonRivers**

We are NOT. I believe gargoyles make even better boyfriends than that lazy part-time-old timer.

**Ryan NatureFreak**

Apply a Status Recovery Potion onto the burn.

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

Shoot. It's her again. Time to log out.

*PING* Notification: Due to unstable internet connection, you will only be able to log-out after 299,792,458 seconds. Thank you!

Crud.

**Ley MakesCrimsonRivers**

HEY DEEEEHOOOE~!

**Dio BurningYourCanyon**

DEAR SAMSARA, GET THIS HIDEOUS CREATURE AWAY FROM ME.

_Ley x Dio Fanclub_ likes this item.

**Ryan NatureFreak**

Well that escalated quickly.

_*in the background*_

**Elesis KickbuttKnight**

wow. Look at how those two women bicker.

YAY CATFIGHT!

**Arme FireBoltSpammer**

Elesis, I believe that the pink haired-one is a guy.

**Lire Ihazflexibleback**

Can we just go home already? '_'...

* * *

><p>Jinno: My head really aches D: I can't think straight. Crappy ending huh?<p>

Sieghart: What?! You're not straight?! High-five brotha!

Jinno: NO NO.

Elesis: Alam na. (translates to Everyone knows)

Jinno: *facepalm*...Please stay tuned for the next chapter...and please R&R.


End file.
